Thomas J. "Jay" O'Neill Jr.

SHIRLEY: Thomas James "Jay" O’Neill, Jr. 82, died at home on April 27th in Shirley, surrounded by his loving family and amazing hospice care. Jay was born in Montclair, NJ but was raised in neighboring Verona. He maintained friendships from Verona throughout his life. Interestingly enough, he did not know that his full legal name was not Jay O’Neill until the age of 16, when he went to get a driver’s license. He attended F.N. Brown Elementary, Whitehorn Junior High, and Verona High School before heading to Rutgers for a degree in engineering. While at Rutgers, Jay was a member of the Glee Club and Chorus which culminated in performances at Carnegie Hall with Leonard Bernstein conducting, and a tour of Europe the year he graduated. He was very proud of singing for King Olaf of Norway at a music festival in Bergen as part of that trip. After graduation, Jay first worked at Sikorski Helicopters, and then moved to Massachusetts for work at AVCO. His first work involved the heat shield for the Apollo program, then worked in design of thermonuclear devices (we don’t call them bombs, dear) and nuclear survivability. Jay worked on underground testing out of New Mexico and Nevada, while at the same time pursuing education to become a yogi through Paramahansa Yogananda. He famously wore a No Nukes tee shirt to a company picnic. After the Berlin Wall fell, work in his field disappeared and he retired from AVCO. His next adventure led him to book selling, first at Barnes and Noble and then to Borders Books in Nashua, NH. In 2005 while working at B&N, Jay met his second wife, Clare who was working down the street at Borders. They created a home in Shirley, and absolutely loved living on Squannacook Hill with visits from bears, foxes, deer and many birds. He collected art, loved music, ballroom dancing, reading and writing essays. Jay fell ill with esophageal cancer in 2013. He rebounded well from treatment and surgery, but in 2021 began feeling effects of more sickness which eventually took his health. Jay is survived by his wife of 17 years, Clare (Brown Underwood) O’Neill of Shirley, his son Colin O’Neill and his wife Pamela of Hudson, NH and their two daughters, Leah and Sarah, stepsons Ken Underwood also of Shirley, Will Underwood of Worcester. He is also survived by his sister Jill O’Neill of West Caldwell, NJ and her two sons Michael and Nicholas LaMura, and niece Dian DeBenedett and nephews Steven and James DeBenedett, also of New Jersey. A celebration of Jay's life will be held at 4PM, on Wednesday, June 28th, 2023 at the Bull Run Restaurant, 215 Great Road Shirley, Ma 01464.

Tributes

Thomas J. "Jay" O'Neill Jr.

November 24, 1940 - April 27, 2023